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Q And Q

What's the best form of birth control after 50?

Nudity



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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

45 lbs.



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What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

45 minutes



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How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.



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Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.



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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.



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What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.



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What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.



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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade.

Who has the biggest boobs?

The blonde, because she's 18.



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Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

Because they have cotton balls.



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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.



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What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"



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What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?

Beer Nuts are $1 and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.



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Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you.



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Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Kentucky?

Everyone has the same DNA.



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What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.



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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.



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What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?

A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.



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What's the Cuban National Anthem?

Row row row your boat.



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What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?

A Northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairy tale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."



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