To all my friends, thanks to you sending me chain letters in 2003, the following occurred:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for
removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected
with AIDS.

* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause
cancer.

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes
I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a
stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda,
Singapore and Tokyo.

* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they
contain may turn me gay.

* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing
other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in
a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get
sick from the rat feces and urine.

* I think I am turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look at
any babe no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and
leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account, a sick girl that
was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl,
she's been 7 since 1993.......

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote expecting the $150,000
total that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in
their special e-mail program.

* But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I
broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from Satan himself.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in
the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you today.

If you didn't get it, this means: don't send me any more chain letters ;)