|-------------------------------------| | Jesus loves you...but everyone else | | thinks you are an ass. | |-------------------------------------| |----------------------------------| | Impotence...Nature's way of | | saying "No hard feelings," | |----------------------------------| |-----------------------------------| | The proctologist called | | ...they found your head. | |-----------------------------------| |-------------------------------------| | Everyone has a photographic memory | | ...some just don't have any film. | |-------------------------------------| |----------------------------------| | Save your breath...You'll need it| | to blow up your date. | |----------------------------------| |-------------------------------| | Your ridiculous little | | opinion has been noted. | |-------------------------------| |-----------------------| | I used to have a | | handle | | on life...but it broke| | off. | |-----------------------| |---------------------------------| | WANTED: Meaningful | | overnight relationship. | |---------------------------------| |-------------------------------------| | Guys...just because you have one, | | doesn't mean you have to be one. | |-------------------------------------| |-----------------------------------------------| | Some people just don't know how to drive... | | I call these people "Everybody But Me," | |-----------------------------------------------| |-------------------------------------| | Heart Attacks...God's revenge for | | eating His animal friends. | |-------------------------------------| |------------------------| | Don't like my driving? | | Then quit watching me. | |------------------------| |------------------------------------| | If you can read this...I can | | slam on my brakes and sue you. | |------------------------------------| |---------------------------------| | Some people are only alive | | because it is illegal to shoot | | them. | |---------------------------------| |---------------------------------------------| | Try not to let your mind wander...It is too | | small and fragile to be out by itself. | |---------------------------------------------| |-------------------------| | Hang up and drive!! | |-------------------------| And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See!! |-----------------------------------------------| | Welcome to America | | ...now speak English | |-----------------------------------------------|