A Thanksgiving Forecast

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A Thanksgiving Forecast

A THANKSGIVING FORECAST

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon
high near 190 F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother
the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will
slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on
plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce
creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire
area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening,
the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of
34 F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will
be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50
percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming
trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low
as the only wish left will be the bone.

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  584. [page] Windows 98 Southern Edition
  585. [page] Windows Errors In Haiku
  586. [page] Winter Wonderland Computer Parodies
  587. [page] Wisdom From The Bathroom Walls
  588. [page] Woman S Guide To Male Bashing
  589. [page] Women Rule
  590. [page] Women Are Bright Because
  591. [page] WordPerfect Helpline
  592. [page] Work Phrases
  593. [page] World S Shortest Books
  594. [page] Worms And Alcohol
  595. [page] Worst Analogies
  596. [page] Worst Country Songs
  597. [page] Y0K And Y1K Problems
  598. [page] Yo Mama So Stupid (and Ugly)
  599. [page] You Know You Re Getting Old When
  600. [page] You Know You Re An Idiot When
  601. [page] You Might Be A Yankee If
  602. [page] You Might Be From Lousiville If
  603. [page] You Might Have A Redneck Yard If
  604. [page] You Might Be A Redneck If
  605. [page] You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If
  606. [page] You Re Lost In The Generation Gap Between Baby Boomers And Generation X If
  607. [page] Yummy Fingers