The Top 14 Special Powers of the Young Darth Vader

14> Using the Force, young Darth could unhook a bra on the
other side of the planet.

13> Could hack into Death Star mainframe to vaporize his violin
teacher's house.

12> The power to cause volcanic pimple eruptions on the faces
of his mortal enemies.

11> Could make Obi-Wan Kenobi pee his pants by sneaking in
his room and putting his hand in warm water.

10> Ability to sweet-talk girls into "rubbing his helmet."

9> For a white kid, he did a pretty damn good James Earl Jones
impression.

8> Astounding dodge ball prowess combined with "take no
prisoners" attitude resulted in many a beheaded opponent.

7> The old Jedi "your lunch money is mine" trick.

6> Ability to emit a powerful protective force-field after
only one bean burrito.

5> Won the high school talent show every year by making the
vice principal writhe in pain.

4> Ability to activate "Trouser Saber" at will.

3> The uncanny ability to make all the hottest babes believe
that through the constant application of love and
understanding *they* can change him.

2> "You don't need to see my I.D. You know I'm old enough to
buy beer."

and Topfive.com's Number 1
Special Power of the Young Darth Vader...

1> Pasty skin + jet-black wardrobe + intense aura of impending
doom = Goth babe magnet!

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