If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or
moving to the South, there are a few things you should know
that will help you adapt to the difference in life styles.

If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-
wheel drive pickup truck with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain
will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of
their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
store. Do not buy food at this store.

Remember: "Ya'll" is singular, "All ya'll" is plural, and "All
ya'll's" is plural possessive. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from
around here, are ya?"

You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This
is short for "Y'all oughta not do that!" and is the equivalent of
saying "No!"

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying,
they can't understand you either.

The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted
Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," as in "big 'ol
truck" or "big 'ol boy".

Be advised that "He needed killin'" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," stay
out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever
say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the
smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the
local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything
or not. You just have to go there.

When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle
of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John
Deere and that this is the proper speed and position for that
vehicle.

In the South we have found that the best way to grow a lush,
green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we
will accept them as southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens
in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.