Thumb Sucking

Little Johnny had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking
his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to
reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit.

Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop
sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."

Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant
woman sitting on a bench. Little Johnny considered her gravely for
a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh ... I know what "you've"
been doing."
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Little Johnny and His Injuries

Little Johnny had hurt his finger while working on his model airplane.
He ran to his mother, who kissed the wound and made it better. On the
way to the store a little later, Johnny fell off his bike and scraped
hisknee. He ran to his mother, who kissed it and made it better.
Returning from the store, Johnny ran into the town bully, who kicked him
in a very private part of his anatomy. Johnny rushed home. His mother
said, "Son, you're getting more like your father every day!"
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Little Johnny and the Class's Imagination

Esther Cohen was testing her 2nd grade class's imagination. She
put her hand in a box, removed something without the class seeing what
it was, put her hand behind and asked "Class I am holding something in
my hand, its round, red and is edible, what is it? Several hands went up.

Esther said, "Yes Robert".

Robert, "is it an apple?"

Esther replied, "No Robert, who else can try?"

Peter called out, "its an orange."

The young teacher said, "No."

James shouted, "it's a tomato!"

"Very good James, that's correct", the teacher answered.

Little Johnny's hand shot up as he said "Miss Cohen, I also want to test
the class's imagination"

Esther, reluctant to call on Johnny due to his propensity to use
foul language, said "okay, go ahead".

Johnny putting his hand in his trousers pocket says, "I am holding
something in my hand, its three inches long and has a head, what is it?"

The class was quite and no one had their hand up. The teacher thought
quickly and said in a disgusted voice, "Johnny sit down and keep quite,
I don't want any of your silly jokes."

Johnny, smiling removes his hand from his pocket and says, "it's a match
stick, Miss Cohen you have a lot of imagination."