Here are the best headlines of the year (yes, they are real)...

1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
3. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
5. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
6. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
10. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
11. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
12. Eye Drops Off Shelf
13. Teachers Strike Idle Kids
14. Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
16. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
17. Miners Refuse To Work After Death
18. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
19. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
20. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
21. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
22. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
23. War Dims Hope For Peace
24. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
25. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
26. Deer Kill 17,000
27. Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide
28. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
29. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
30. Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge
31. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
32. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
34. Chef Throws His Heart In Helping Feed Needy
35. Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire
36. Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
37. Local High School Dropout Cuts In Half
38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
39. Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
40. Farmer Bill Dies in House
41. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
42. Stud Tires Out
43. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
44. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
45. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
46. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
47. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
48. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
49. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
50. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
51. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
52. Air Head Fired
53. Steals Clock, Faces Time
54. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
55. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
56. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
57. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
58. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training