Memo to all students:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work
and productivity from students, it will be our policy
to keep all students well taught through our program of
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.). We are
trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any
other school. If you feel that you do not receive your
share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your
lecturer. You will be immediately placed at the top of
the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially
skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can
handle.

Students who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.
S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.
seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took
S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have to do
S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T.
already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a
job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC
UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in
management and consultancy, we will refer you to the
department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION
(M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes on how to
manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T. If you have further questions,
please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL
HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING

(BI.G. S.H.I.T.)