Who has this kind of time?!

I was working part time in a five and dime. My boss was Mr. Magee. He was
six foot four and full of muscles and walked like an Egyptian, but I was
happy to be stuck with him.

One manic Monday, while I was busy working for
the weekend, I overheard him make a careless whisper.
He told two of my co-workers, Jack and Diane, that I gave love a bad name.
Well, I got so emotional, baby. I told him to say say say what he wants,
But don't play games with my affection. He told me it was hard for him to say
he's sorry and not to worry, to be happy. Then he blamed it on the rain. He
was so out of touch. It just took my breath away. I couldn't fight this
feeling any longer. I asked him "What's love got to do with it?" He told me
to get outta his store and his dreams and into my car. So I figured I might
as well jump.

I cut footloose, went home and called my girl, Jenny. (You already know the
number) She was on the other line with Amanda. They were talking about
Mickey and how he was so fine. That blew my mind! Was she really going out
with him? I told her that I had just called to say I love her. She told me
she had been saving all her love for me, but now she was looking for a new
love - hasta la vista, baby. I thought "I can't go for that - no can do!
Bring me a higher love!" I called up some of my old west end girls, hoping
that one of them would want to get physical all night long (all night).
First I called Billie Jean - she told me to beat it. I called Rosanna - her
sister Christian blessed the rains down in Africa and then hung up on me.
Come on, Eileen! ... no answer. Nobody told me there'd be days like these!

I was feeling like the owner of a lonely heart. Then, out of the blue, my
Best friend's girlfriend (she used to be mine) Roxanne calls. Yes, the real
Roxanne. She told me she still hadn't found what she's looking for and that
she wanted to take on me. I said "I thought you were Jessie's girl." She
said "Don't you want me? You don't have to put on the red light - I'm on my
own." What a feeling! I had the eye of the tiger. Who was I f-f-f-foolin?
Roxanne drove me crazy like no one else. She's a beauty! She blinded me
with science, and weird science at that. There was always something there to
remind me of her and I just knew that I'd have the time of my life. I
wasn't about to la-di-da-di.

I jumped in my little red Corvette and rocked down to
Electric Avenue. I got my mind set on her. When I got to her house (in the
middle of her street) I ran. I rapped on her front door and to this
rapper's delight, i heard a voice say "Who can it be now?"

"Here I am, the one that you love", I replied. I let my love open the door
and was immediately lost in her eyes. I felt like a virgin touched for the
very first time. She loosened her blouse and said "Rock me Amadeus!" Well, I
felt it was my prerogative to bust a move. I told her "I'll tumble for ya!" as
I pinned her on the stairs, hungry like the wolf. Just then I felt an invisible
touch on my shoulder. "Turn around bright eyes!" said a familiar voice. As I did,
Jessie hit me with a sledgehammer of an uppercut that spun me right round
like a record.

He was hangin' tough and continued to roll with it, knocking the wind from
beneath my wings - broken wings by this time. He rocked me tonight, for old
time's sake, beating me from head to toe, until my true colors were black
and blue and blood was spilling from my mouth like red, red wine. "You
don't owe me money for nothing!" he snarled. At this point I was livin' on a
prayer. I crawled back to my little red Corvette and drove home thinking
about how my tainted love had cut like a knife - how it seems that every
rose, truly, has its thorn.

No longer do I want to know what love is. Love stinks.