Now you too can be a Spice Girl (I know you've been wanting to apply...)
Name:
Age:
Real Age:

1) How would you best describe yourself?
[ ] An energetic self-starter
[ ] A team player
[ ] A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet

2) Do you have any detectable vestige of talent, besides your tits?

3) Would it bother you to be the target of unrelenting hatred?
[ ] Yes [ ] No

4) "I am willing to trade sexual favours for a careeer in the music industry."
[ ] Yes [ ] No

5) How many times have you been kicked out of a karaoke bar?

6) Does nudity bother you? If so, please give three excuses for your portfolio.

7) Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of individual free will in light of the deterministic theories of neurochemical medicine and modern behaviouralist psychology. Just kidding! Seriously, do you like leather mini-skirts?

8) Are you deceptively attractive in coloured or stroboscopic light?
[ ] Yes [ ] No

9) Choose an appropriate nickname:
[ ] Sexy
[ ] Nasty
[ ] Sweetie
[ ] Lardy
[ ] Sickly
[ ] Sporty
[ ] Slappy

10) Choose an appropriate image:
[ ]Cute blonde appeals to pedophiles
[ ] Tub of lard
[ ] Bloke in a track suit
[ ] Vacant stare, no discernable brain activity
[ ] Terrifying to small children and old men
[ ] All of the above

11) Do you promise to make one album and then go away forever?
[ ] Yes [ ] No

12) If two trains leave Liverpool an hour apart at 90 kilometers, and 75 kilometers an hour, respectively, how would you look in a bikini?

13) If required as part of your contract, would you be willing to help alleviate Prince Charles's loneliness?
[ ] Yes [ ] No

14) In space provided, tell us why you want, why you really, really, want this job.

"It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value." --Arthur C. Clarke