A worried father telephoned his family doctor and said that
he was afraid that his teenage son had come down with V.D.
"He says he hasn't had sex with anyone but the maid, so it
has to be her."

"Don't worry so much," advised the doctor. "these things
happen."

"I know, Doctor," said the father, "but I have to admit that
I've been sleeping with the maid also. I seem to have the
same symptoms."

"That's unfortunate."

"Not only that, I think I've passed it to my wife."

"Oh Shit," said the doc, "That means we all have it."

~~~
Q. How can you tell which bottle contains the PMS medicine?
A. It's the one with the teeth marks on the cap.
---------------

A little boy is waiting for his mom to come out of the
changing room while shopping with her at a department store.
The little boy gets bored, so he decides to have a look around.
When his mom comes out of the changing room, she finds her
little boy sliding his hand up a dummy's skirt.

"GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!", she shouts.
"DON'T YOU KNOW THAT US WOMEN HAVE GOT
TEETH DOWN THERE."

The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his
lucky stars that nothing serious happened. So, for the rest of
his life, this poor little boy grows up thinking that all women
have got teeth down below.

By the time the little boy reaches the age of 16, he finds
himself a girl. One night, while her parents were out of town,
she invites him over for a little action. After a few hours of
making out and grinding on the sofa, she asks him to go a bit
further.

"What do you mean?", he asks. She replies, "Well, why don't
you put your hand down there?" while pointing to her privates.

"HELL NO!", he cries. "You've got teeth down there."

"No, I don't," she responds.

"Yes, you do," he says. "My mom told me that you do."

"No, I don't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself." With that,
she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek."

"No, I'm sorry" he says. "My mom already told me that all
women have teeth down there.

She throws her legs behind her head, and says, "Look, I don't
have any teeth down there."

He replies, "Well, with the condition of those gums I'm not
surprised."
-------------

A young couple are on their way to Vegas to get married.
Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she has a
confession to make. The reason that they have not been too
intimate is because she is quite flat chested. If the guy wishes
to cancel the wedding, it is okay with her.

The guy thought about it for a while, and said he does not
mind she is flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a
marriage.

Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and
said that he also wants to make a confession; he said below his
waist, it is just like a baby. If the girl wants to cancel the
marriage, it is okay with him.

The girl thought about it for a while and said that she does not
mind, and she also believed there are other things far more
important than sex in a marriage.

They were happy that they are honest with each other. They
went on to Vegas and got married. On their wedding night, the
girl took off her clothes, she is as flat as a washboard.

Finally, the guy took off his clothes. One glance at the guy's
naked body, the girl fainted and fell to the floor.

After she became conscious, the guy said, "I told you before
we got married; why did you still faint?

The girl said, You told me it was just like a baby.

The guy replied, That's right, 8 pounds and 21 inches.