IDIOTS AT WORK...
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the
clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the
credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the
transaction unless the card was signed.

When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to
compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just
signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the
receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health &
Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids
periodically to lubricate your eyes."

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call
the local township administrative office to request the removal
of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer
were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross
there.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She
asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTINGS Sighting #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage
without your knowledge?"

I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."

Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker
of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I
explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red.
She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?"

Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is
leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up
and said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more
often."

Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like
deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

Sighting #4:
I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her
system would not turn on.

Sighting #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally
locked in it. We went to the service department and found a
mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.

As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered it was open.

"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"

"I know," answered the young man.- "I already got that side."