Dogs and Computers

* Favorite Food
Dogs: kibbles
Computers: bits

* Method used to end undesirable behavior
Dogs: hit with rolled up newspaper
Computers: hit control-alt-delete

* After destruction of personal property
D: dog not found
C: file not found

* Favorite trick
D: roll over
C: play dead

* Comic-page hero
D: Dogbert
C: Dilbert

* Fun way to mess with their heads
D: peanut butter on roof of mouth
C: peanut butter in CD-ROM drive

* Consequence of virus
D: replace valuable carpeting
C: replace valuable data

* Widely ignored government mandate
D: leash law
C: Communications Decency Act

* Waste disposal tool
D: pooper-scooper
C: uninstaller
(necessary only on Win-tel machines!)

* Sensitive internal procedures
D: must be undertaken by fully qualified professional
C: may be undertaken by that guy at work who fixed
"one kind-of like this" once

* Method of marking territory
D: lifting leg
C: "Designed for Windows 95"

* Unique behavior
D: lick and drag
C: click-and-drag

* Inexplicable physical feature
D: dewclaw
C: scroll lock key

* Estimated lifespan
D: 12 years
C: 12 months

* At end of useful life
D: euthanasia
C: tax deduction