Wilbur and Martha were happily married for
nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage
was caused by the husband's habit of breaking wind
nearly every morning as he awoke.

The noise would always wake up Martha and
the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would
choke and gasp for air. Nearly every morning she
would plead with him to stop ripping one in the
morning. Herman told her that he couldn't help it. She
begged him to visit a doctor to see if anything could be
done, but the husband wouldn't hear of it. He told
her that it was just a natural bodily function, and
then he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the
fumes away with her hands. She told him that there was
nothing natural about it and if he didn't stop, he
was one day going to "fart his guts out".

The years went by and Martha continued to
suffer and Herman continued to ignore her warnings
about "farting his guts out" until one Christmas morning.
Before dawn, Martha went downstairs to prepare the
family feast. She fixed Christmas pudding, mashed
potatoes, gravy and of course a turkey. While she was
taking out the turkey's innards, a thought occurred to the
wife as to how she might solve her husband's problem. With
a devilish grin on her face, she placed the turkey guts
into a bowl and quietly walked upstairs hours before her
flatulent husband would awake.

While he was still soundly asleep, she
pulled back the covers and then gently pulled back her
husband's jockey shorts. She then placed all of the turkey
guts into her husband's underwear, pulled them up,
replaced the covers and tiptoed back downstairs to
finish preparing the family meal.

Several hours later she heard Herman awake
with his normal loud ass trumpeting. This was soon
followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of
frantic footsteps as her husband ran to the upstairs bathroom.

Martha could not control herself and her
eyes began to tear up as she rolled on the floor
laughing. After years of putting up with him she had
finally gotten even.

About twenty minutes later, Herman came
downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of
horror in his eyes. She bit her lip to keep from
laughing and she asked him what was the matter.

"Honey," he said. "You were right - all those years you
warned me and I didn't listen to you".

"What do you mean?" asked Martha. "Well you
always told me that I would end up farting my guts
out one of these days and today it finally happened.

But by the grace of God and these two
fingers, I think I got 'em all back in."