Those Jews


It was two days before Chanukah and Mr. Feldman, quite downcast, was
trudging home. "Where will I get money to buy presents for the holiday?"
he asked himself sadly, thinking of his wife and children. On the way,
he passed a church, in front of which was a sign:

One Hundred Dollars Cash To Anyone Who Joins This Church Today!

Here was the solution to Feldman's problem! He went in, joined, and was
given the hundred dollars as the sign promised. That evening, at supper,
he told his family how he had come by his sudden wealth. "And here's the
hundred," he announced grandly, waving the money before them.

"Darling," said his wife, "you remember that coat you promised me three
years ago? Well it's on sale at Macy's."

"How much is it?"

"Only fifty dollars, and it's worth at least eighty five."

Feldman peeled off five tens and gave them to her.

The son spoke up. "Pop, for a long time I've been saving up to buy one of
those English bikes with ten gear shifts. I already have most of the
money, but I need a little more."

"How much more?"

"Twenty five dollars."

Feldman handed over the money.

"Daddy," said his teen age daughter, "next week our school is having the
most important dance of the whole year. If I don't have a new dress,
I'll simply die."

"Don't die Sweetheart. How much is the dress?"

"Only twenty five dollars, Daddy dear."

Feldman handed over the remaining twenty five dollars, leaned back and
grinned. "It never fails," he announced. "The minute we Gentiles have a
little money, you Jews take it away from us!"