Synagogue Hostages
Just before Rosh Hashana, a team of terrorists invades the shul
and takes the rabbi, the cantor and the shul president hostage.
Hours later, the governor stands tough, he won't give them a million
dollars, nor a getaway car nor a Jumbo Jet.
The terrorists gather the three hostages in a corner and inform them
that things look bad and they're going to have to shoot them.
Nevertheless, to show that they're not really a bad bunch, they'll
grant each hostage one wish.
"Please," says the rabbi, "for the last two months I've been working
on my Rosh Hashana Sermon. What a waste to die now without
having ever said it before an audience. I'll go happily if you let me
recite my sermon. It's an hour - ninety minutes long, tops."
They promise to grant him the wish. "Please," says the cantor,
"after 50 years I've finally gotten the 'Hinneni' prayer just right.
What a waste to die and not sing it to an audience. It's only about
45 minutes long - then I'll go happily."
The terrorists promise to grant the cantor his wish too and they
turn to the shul president.
"Please," says the president with tears in his eyes, "Shoot me first!"