Jewish Newspapers
As told by Alan Dershowitz
in "The Vanishing American Jew"
There once were two Jews reading their newspapers over a cup of coffee in a
late-nineteenth century Viennese cafe. Kurt is reading the liberal
Yiddish-language newspaper and shaking his head from side to side, uttering
soft moans of "Oy vey" and "Vey is meir." Shmulie is reading the
right-wing anti-Semetic German-language tabloid and smiling.
Kurt, noticing what Shmulie is reading, shouts at his friend, "Why are you
reading that garbage?"
Shmulie responds, "When I used to take your newspaper, all I would ever
read about was Dreyfus beign falsely accused, the Jews of Russia being
subjected to pogroms, anti-Semitic laws being enacted all over Europe, and
the grinding poverty of the Jews in the Holy Land. Now, ever since I take
this paper, I read about how the Jews control the banks, the press, the
arts; how Jews hold all the political power behind the scenes; and how we
will soon take over the world. Wouldn't you rather read such good news
than such bad news?"