Noah Jokes



What did Noah say as he was loading the Ark?
"Now I herd everything"

Why did the people on the ark think the horses were pessimistic?
They kept saying neigh

What animal could Noah not trust?
The cheetah

What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
Flood lights

Who introduced salted meat to the Navy?
Noah--he took Ham with him on the ark

What did G-d say when Noah told him he wanted to build the
ark out of bricks?
"No, No ah -- go for wood"

Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
Noah was sitting on the deck

Who was the first canning factory run by?
Noah - he had a boat full of preserved pairs

Was Noah the first one out of the Ark?
No, he came fourth out of the ark

Which animal took the most baggage into the arc?
What animal took the least?
The elephant took his trunk.
But the fox and the rooster took only a brush and comb
between them,

Why weren't there any worms on the arc?
Because worms come in apples not in pairs.

What creatures were not on the arc?
Fish

Where did Noah keep the bees?
In the ark hives.

Who was the best financier in the Bible?
Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in
liquidation.

Where was Noah when the lights went out?
In d'ark.

Why couldn't Noah catch many fish?
He only had two worms.

When is paper money first mentioned in the Bible?
When the dove brought the green back to the ark.