Getting Through Customs


A few years ago, Joseph was finally given an exit permit by the Russians
and allowed to emigrate to Israel to join his family. He was told that
he could only take what he could pack into one suitcase.

At Moscow airport he was stopped by an enormous Customs officer who
glared at him and snarled "Open the case!"

Joseph opened the case and the Russian rummaged through the meagre
belongings and pulled out a large bundle wrapped in old copies of
Pravda. He unwrapped it to reveal a bust of Stalin.

"What is that" snarled the customs officer.

"What is that?" said Joseph timidly. "You shouldn't ask 'What is that?',
You should ask 'Who is that?'. That is our glorious leader Stalin. I'm
taking it to my new home to remind me of all the wonderful things that
he did and the marvellous life that I am leaving behind."

"I always knew that you Jews were mad!" said the official, tossing the
bust into the case. "Go!"

A few hours later Joseph arrived at Ben Gurion airport and was
confronted by an Israeli customs officer.

"Shalom, Welcome to Israel. Open the case!"

Once again Joseph's belongings were examined and the customs officer
came upon the bust.

"What is that" said the customs officer.

"What is that?" said Joseph indignantly. "You shouldn't ask 'What is
that?', You should ask 'Who is that?'. That is that bastard, Stalin. I'm
taking it to my new home to remind me of all the misery and suffering
that he caused me for most of my life. I want to spit on it every day
for the rest of my life."

"I always knew that you Russian Jews were mad!" said the official,
tossing the bust into the case. "Go!"

At last Joseph arrived in his new home and eventually got round to
unpacking watched by his young nephew. He took out his few clothes and
then carefully unwrapped the bust of Stalin and put it on the table.

"Who is that?" asked his nephew.

"Who is that?" said Joseph with a smile. "You shouldn't ask 'Who is
that?', You should ask 'What is that?'. That is five kilos of gold"