Who Is An Israeli?


An Israeli is someone who signals left, but turns right.

An Israeli is someone who knows what's better for you than you do.

An Israeli is someone who goes to Cyprus for the weekend and has his
entire family waiting for him at the airport when he gets back.

An Israeli is someone with 1,000 excuses as to why he couldn't do whatever
it was you asked of him.

An Israeli is someone who spits his cigarette out his car window in Israel
and in the next breath complains that the streets abroad are much cleaner
than the ones at home.

An Israeli is someone who'll curse you at a stoplight, cut in front of you
in line, recognize you from the army if you bump into him abroad, and
start up a conversation with you if you're sitting across from him in the
Kupat Cholim waiting room.

An Israeli is someone who sits in his living room and uses his cellular
phone to call his wife in the next room and tell her to bring him some
sunflower seeds.

An Israeli is someone who will drive two and a half hours to save NIS 50
by shopping at the shuk but when he gets back to his car he'll find a
parking ticket for NIS 100.

An Israeli is someone who loves life in Israel, especially when he's
abroad.

An Israeli is someone who isn't embarrassed to ask you how much money you
make.

An Israeli is someone who can bankrupt an "all you can eat" restaurant.

An Israeli is someone who will do anything to get out of reserve duty in
times of peace, and will do anything to be able to serve during times of
war.

An Israeli is someone who hopes for the best and prepares for the worst.

An Israeli is someone who will praise and support you only after you're
dead.

An Israeli is someone who knows the answer before you ask the question.

An Israeli is someone who does not know how to say "please", "excuse me"
or "thank you" but in your hour of need will walk through fire to lend you
a hand, because his prickly exterior hides a heart of gold.