Judaism - Traditional Vs. Reform
by David Bader
from How to Be an Extremely Reform Jew
Traditional: Farm animal must be killed by ritual slaughterer using a
sharply honed knife that must not have a single nick on its blade.
Reform: Farm animal must be told that it has the right to an attorney.
Trad'l: Will not combine meat with milk.
Reform: Will not combine meat with chocolate milk.
Trad'l: One set of dishes for meat, another set for dairy.
Reform: One set of dishes exclusively for cheeseburgers.
Trad'l: Try to concentrate on prayers, achieve sense of being in the
presence of the divine.
Reform: Try to figure out when to stand up, when to sit down, and what page
everyone is on.
Trad'l: Women required to sit in synagogue balcony, apart from men.
Reform: Women and men sit together, dancing suggestively.
Trad'l: Strong disapproval of women rabbis.
Reform: Strong disapproval of topless women rabbis.
Jewish Year: Current year plus 3760.
Jewish Dog Year: Current year plus 3760, multiplied by 7.