[Editor's note: this has made the rounds of various humor lists and
newsgroups, but is to the best of my knowledge a true story. That makes it
all the more frightening.]

I live in Berlin, Germany and asked a friend in the U.S. per email to call
American Online in the States and have them send their AOL install
diskettes to me at my Berlin address. My friend called AOL, then sent me
this message:
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I called AOL for you but had "an experience" talking to the minimum-wage
employee who attempted to take your address.

I pronounced your name for her and then spelled it (SLOWLY). I gave her the
street address and spelled it. Faithfully following her script, she then
asked for the State (as in which US state).

I replied, "actually it is in Berlin, Germany" and gave her the postal
code. I didn't think it necessary to spell Berlin, Germany. My mistake.
After a silence she said, "That's G-R?" I then spelled Germany for her. She
said, "No, I mean the abbreviation." I said, "Are you trying to abbreviate
Germany in the 'State field' on your computer screen?" "Yes," she replied.
I told her again that it was not at United States address, that GR sounded
like a good abbreviation but it was not a US state and that she might have
to spell out Germany on another line. She replied, "I know it's not in the
US, it's in Canada."

If there were any doubt I was in trouble, it was now certain.

I clarified that Berlin was a city in the country of Germany and that
neither were anywhere near Canada. Silence ... Me: "You know, the country
in Europe ... Hitler and all that Nazi stuff from the 1940's ..."

Silence ...

Her: "So the city is B-U-N-L-E-R?"
Me: "No, it's Berlin ... Berlin, Germany ... B-E-R-L-I-N"
Her: "OK, but what's the state?"

AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh! Lucy just pulled the
football out from under me again.

Again I told her that there wasn't a US state involved. I know there is a
German equivalent of a state that Berlin is in but I couldn't remember the
name, nor its abbreviation, nor did I think giving it to her if I had it
would do any good.

I'm not done yet ...

Then she asks me for a phone number. Not having yours readily available to
her, I replied, "I'm calling you locally from the States and I don't have a
phone number in Berlin to give you."

A brief pause. . .

Her: "So, what was your phone number again?"

AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh! I gave her my phone
number because I knew, like a computer program with no escapes from an
endless loop, if she didn't fill in the phone number line, I'd never get
off the phone and you'd never get AOL. Imagine if I had given her your
phone number with all those numbers and no familiar (xxx) xxx-xxxx format.
My god, what would she have done then???

She ended the call by reading the "namestring" script, "Thank you ... Mr.
'tan-GAY' ... for ordering America On-Line. Your order will arrive within 2
weeks. Have a nice day."

Good luck.
Paul

by Edward Tanguay
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