I'm not entirely sure I want to claim credit for this, but I did write it,
so what the hell.

--Tina Mancuso (tmancuso@drew.edu)

Top ten reasons why computers are better than boy/girlfriends:

10. You can turn them off when you're done with them.
9. They never say, "You can't login tonight, I have a headache."
8. You can tell them anything, and they will always listen.
7. You can program them to give you the answers you want to hear.
6. They are never too tired.
5. If you come home at 3am, they don't ask where you've been.
4. They don't hog the bed and steal all the covers.
3. They don't eat (unless you count disks).
2. They remember everything you want them to remember, and forget
everything you want them to forget.
1. They never complain that you don't take them anywhere.

Top ten reasons why boyfriends/girlfriends are better than computers:

10. You don't need a password to get in.
9. They won't shut down if there's a power outage.
8. It's difficult to take a computer to bed.
7. The Aide Station never gets calls asking for advice on someone's love
life.
6. A computer won't laugh at your jokes.
5. You might get a few strange looks if you bring a computer to a drive-in
movie. (Do they still HAVE those?)
4. When you use bad grammar on a computer, you get all sorts of nasty
messages (Note: this could also hold true for boy/girl- friends if one
happens to be an English major, but not generally).
3. Computers don't give back-rubs.
2. You can't put your freezing feet on a computer's leg to warm them up.
[Well, you could, but: 1) they wouldn't get very warm, and 2) you wouldn't
have the pleasure of hearing the computer shriek].
1. You can't have sex with a computer. [Again, I suppose you could, but it
might be dangerous...]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------