X-News: drew du.chatter:339
From: krosen@drew.edu (Ken Rosen)
Subject:Chainsaw blues
Date: 13 Jul 90 14:08:15 GMT

A tree fell in the forest last night, and boy, did I ever hear it.

It was about 2:45am, when suddenly amidst the pitter-pattering rainfall
there was a rustle rustle-rustle CRACK rustle-crack ssssshhhhhh CRACK
SHAKALAKAWAKABAM! badumpbadumpbadumpbadumpbadump--oops! That last part was
actually my rapidly beating heart. The tree fell right up against Tolley,
nearly coming through the windows on the first floor, which would have
given the Shakespeare interns a pretty good start ("Hark! What tree through
yonder window breaks!")

Well, secur--oops! I mean Public Safety--came by to ensure that the fallen
tree was not pinning down any Drew students, who naturally lurk in the
forest behind Tolley in the rain at 2:45am. Luckily, no one was hurt, but
the officer did ticket the tree for taking up 2 unauthorized parking
spaces. I went to bed secure in the knowledge that Drew does indeed posess
a security force willing to go out on a limb for us.

Unfortunately, in this case, Public Safety proved a bit too efficient: I
was awakened in the wee hours of the morning by a man with a chainsaw.
Luckily, this man had no beef with me; unfortunately, he had a pretty
sizable bone to pick with the tree. Right outside my window. For the next
hour.

So I missed a decent night's sleep during the most conducive weather for
sleep- ing all summer. At least I learned something: If a tree falls in the
forest, and you're around to hear it, shut down your local power grid
before you go to sleep.
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