Top 10 reasons why suicide is better than sex:
10. You can still commit suicide when you're drunk off your ass.
9. You don't have to worry about 'safe suicide.'
8. Nobody wakes you up to ask for more.
7. No limit to the number of techniques.
6. Nobody ever asks for a long-term suicide commitment.
5. Who cares if you get a disease?
4. Doing it by yourself is just as good!
3. Easier than finding a date on a Saturday night.
2. Nobody ever complains about 'bad suicide.'
And the top reason...
1. YOU don't have to clean up the mess!
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