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PETRESOL

The Top 12 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets

12. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.

11. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.

10. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

9. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog
shows.

8. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us
when no one is around.

7. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

6. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on 'roids, or they'll
flush my ass.

5. Always scoot before licking.

4. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food
is *too* much.

3. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.

2. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December
31: Re-live victory over the sock.

and the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...

1. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.

[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
[ *To forward or repost, please include this section.* ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com www.topfive.com ]

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  632. [page] Twister
  633. [page] Unigrade
  634. [page] Userology
  635. [page] Vagday
  636. [page] Vbride
  637. [page] Vday
  638. [page] Wbread
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  640. [page] Whotrek
  641. [page] Win2bit
  642. [page] Win98liner
  643. [page] Winsuit
  644. [page] Wiscapp
  645. [page] Womdict
  646. [page] Womworld
  647. [page] Xenacard
  648. [page] Xmas9liv
  649. [page] Xmaslegal
  650. [page] Xturkey
  651. [page] Y2kcomp
  652. [page] Y2kgilligan