THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIE INDUSTRY

Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price
range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will
always choose the right one.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications
system of any invading alien society.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
martial arts--your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by
dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
predecessors.

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will
still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

Radiation cause interesting mutations--not to your future children, but to
you, right then and there.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on
nuclear fission at the age of 22.

Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days
before their retirement.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies
using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses,
lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20
minutes to escape.

During all police investigations. it will be necessary to visit a strip
club at least once.

Most dogs are immortal.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit
level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the
control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one
will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other
part of the building you want without difficulty.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the
mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be
necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will
wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it
before long.

Kitchens don't have light switches.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises
in their most revealing underwear.

Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say:
Enter Password Now.

Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright and pant.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone
conversations.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn
the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts
so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will
know all the steps.

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they
are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting
damage to an eight-year-old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
personally at that precise moment.
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