Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A:

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party
of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith
agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb)
shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to
perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and
otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door,
through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living
area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination
being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not
required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The
aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to,
the following steps:

1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation
at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of
elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the
party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction,
this point being non-negotiable.

2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb)
becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the
party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the
party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all
applicable state, local and federal statutes.

3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first
part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party
of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a
manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one
of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should
occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the
party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him,
the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of
the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."
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