From: "James Jim E. Wathen" (sailorjim@juno.com)

You might be a child of the 80's if...

You wore anything Izod, especially those windbreakers that folded up into a
pouch you could wear around your waist.

You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were
cool.

In your sophomore class picture, you're wearing an Izod shirt with the
collar "up."

Your "dressy" wardrobe centered on pastels and linen blazers - guys
included.

You know, by heart, the words to a "Weird" Al Yankovic song.

You remember when Madonna was just hitting the scene.

The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.

"The Reflex" was a cool song.

You remember "Battlestar: Galactica."

Three words: "Atari," "Apple," and "Pong."

You remember the days that hooking your computer into your television
wasn't an expensive option that required gadgets - it was the ONLY option.

You remember the original version of Windows: Macintosh.

You remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the
weekend."

You thought "Weird Science" was a masterpiece.

You remember any or all of the following:Echo & the Bunnymen, Cutting Crew,
Scritti Politti, or Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark.

Chevy Chase was really funny in those Vacation movies.

You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of MTV.

A predominant color in your childhood photos is "plaid."

While in high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to
get together again at the end of the century and play "1999" by Prince over
and over again.

You remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was.

You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van.

You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind
you.

You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following
phases: - "When I was younger" - "When I was your age" - "You know, back
when..." - "Just can't (fill in the blank) like I used to"

Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English
language.

You're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD thing, and
you're ready to marry the next person who cards you when you want to buy
cigarettes.

You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran,
Madonna, Rick Springfield, or Cyndi Lauper video.

You actually know who Rick Springfield is.

You remember, with pain, the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets
and made your old Big Wheel obsolete.

The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.

You remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly get
better special effects than those in the movie TRON.

You jammed to the Miami Vice theme and thought Jan Hammer was cool.

You wanted to move to Hawaii because that's where Magnum lived.

For the girl crazy bunch: Your first sexual dream occurred to thoughts of
Jeannie, Marsha Brady, Samantha from Bewitched or, for those hardcore comic
fans out there, Daphne from Scooby Doo, Josie or any one of her Pussycats.

And for the boy crazy bunch: You thought Sean Cassidy was "dreamy", lusted
after "Ted, your ship's photographer" on the Love Boat and Chachi, or, to
keep it fair to the comically interested, thought Fred was just a hunk on
Scooby Doo and Johnny Quest was a cutie.

Your hair, at some point in time in the 80's, became something which can
only be described by the phrase "I was experimenting."

Guys: You remember when a guy piercing his ear was radical to the max, but
did it anyhow.

This time line appropriately describes actual events in your life:

* Star Wars opens, you are still in single digit ages, and you think the
creatures are WAY cool.
* Empire Strikes Back opens, you are now in early double digit ages, and
you are convinced that the special effects are much better, the
characters are cool, and you want one of every collectible out there.
* Return of the Jedi hits the theaters...you are now a teenager, and you
cannot get your eyes off Princess Leia's breasts/Han Solo's butt.

You've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the last
five years, okay?

You actually remember Benetton.

You're starting to believe (now that it wouldn't affect YOU) that maybe
having the kids go to school year-round wouldn't be such a bad idea after
all.

You're doing absolutely nothing with anything pertaining to your major
degree.

You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon.

U2 is too "popular" and "mainstream" for you now.

You spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman/Man or
Wonder Woman/the Incredible Hulk.

You remember "Hey, let's be careful out there."

You ever wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the guitar and
choreographed "Dancing Queen" by yourself in your room.

You know all the words to the double album set of Grease.

"All-skate, change directions" means something to you.

You ever rang someone's doorbell and said "Landshark."

You bought a pair of Vanns and wanted to order a pizza in history class so
you could be just like Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times as Ridgemont High.

You owned a Trapper Keeper.

You remember when there was only "G, PG and R", none of this PG-13 crap.

You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry the
emotional scars to this day.

"Wonder twin powers, activate!"
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