From: IN%"ljohanne@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu" "Leila J Johannesen"
23-MAY-1993 16:15:12.42
Subj: tongue in cheek poem

Dear Systers,

Here's something I composed in a fit of idleness. (It was somewhat inspired
by the M.G. affair.)

Enjoy,
LJ

Macho Musings or `Some Men Just Don't Get It'

Well, well, they've gone and hired someone new.
And it's a ``she''! Why?--there weren't too few!
Is she the new secretary or clerk?
No?! She's a colleague with whom I must work!?

Well then, I must pose the bold question: can she compute?
Her degree says yes but frankly, I beg to dispute;
They may have given it to her for being a maid,
Or because of connections, or someone she (-er-) paid.

It's up to me to put her in her place.
Should I embarrass her, make her lose face?
No, I'm too kind, I'll ask something facile--
Something that no man would find a great hassle.

``Oh miss, yes you, please be a dear, and write me some code;
It shouldn't take much of your time or be a great load.
Basic will do; I take it you've used it before?
You can't be doing much yet, so do me this chore.''

``Jane is the name, and I've got lots to do.''
Then she smiles, and says, ``I've heard about you.
Here, review this code and come back at four.''
Then she asks me to leave and slams the door!

Hysterical, I tell you, just like all the rest.
But we're supposed to put up with them and do our best.
Favors and special treatment is what she expects!
What a ridiculous system to hire this sex!

Now what is this bundle she's given me?
It looks vaguely familiar, let me see...
It's the old project I didn't complete--
And she's actually accomplished this feat?!

Yes, this is her work; how strange-- I feel rage
as well as admiration for the sage.
How long but yet elegant... this is art.
I am Salieri, and she is Mozart.

This is too much for my masculine brain to take--
I sense her womanly aspect must be a fake!
This means only one thing-- and only one it can,
That deep down inside, this Jane-- is really a man!

(Copyright 1993 Johannesen)
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