X-News: forest rec.humor.funny:4050
From: wb8foz@netcom.com
Subject:And she's no blond.....

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There is a thread about those supermarket "discount customer" cards in
misc.consumer. Here's MY followup:
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Dear Mr. Jones:

We noticed you've not picked up any condoms at SpiffyMart recently. (Your
last purchase was 8 weeks ago.) Further, you have stopped buying feminine
hygiene products, but have sharply increased your frozen pizza and dinners
usage in the same time frame.

It's clear that Ms. Jody Sanders has dumped you. (It's probably for the
best - we knew she was a loser from that cheap shampoo she buys.) We
confirmed this with the Post Office database -- yep, she filed a change of
address.

We at Horny International offer our condolences. As the number-one vender
of hot X-rated videos, we'd like to help you out in this time of stress. If
you're feeling lonely, check out our catalog of both VHS and super 8 tapes.

Order now and we throw in an extra tape FREE!

Yours Truly;

Sleazy Jerk, Marketing Manager.

ps: That "blond" at O'Dougles last Saturday -- you bought her 2nd
Strawberry Martini? Forget it! She's on her third yeast infection in as
many months, and is a 'regular' at Acme Pharmacy. (Her HMO computer gossips
with ours.) You never know what else she might have. Our tapes are LOTS
safer!..
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