My Resume

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got
canned...couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack
it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it.
Mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my
life but I just didn't have the thyme.

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I
couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't
noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any
patients.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live
on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't
up to it.

So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I
wasn't fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was
shocking.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job

as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was
always the same old grind.
_________________________________________________________________

Back to Language Humor

Back to Tina's Humor Archives main page