From: drbill@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (william.h.davies)
Subject: Two True Ones!
Date: 10 Jan 92 16:57:24 GMT

Heard these "true stories" some years back and still get a chuckle when
thinking about them; hope you do, too!

My wife's folks were stationed at Ft. Lost-in-the-Woods, Misery (Ft.
Leonard Wood, Missouri) in 1984. One day, the mother-out-law heads to the
local Walmart and hears/witnesses the following:

Some lady in front of her in the check-out line forgot an item and asks the
checker if someone can get "it" for her:

Lady: I forgot some Tampax, can someone get it for me?
Checker: (over the loud speaker in the store) Can someone bring some Tampax
to register x?

(People start laughing in the store ....)

Someone: (didn't quite hear the message right, thinks the checker said
"some tacks," and yells over the speaker) DO YOU WANT THE ONES YOU PUSH IN
WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE ONES YOU HIT IN WITH A HAMMER?!?!?

(laughter breaks into a deafening roar ....)
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Got this from some friend in psych class many moons ago:

Her friend is speeding down the local 4-lane trying to get from campus to
work some miles away, when she gets pulled over by the State Police Man!

SPM: Good Evening Ma'am.
Ma'am: Hi! I bet you stopped me to sell me some tickets to the Policeman's
Ball.
SPM: (rather emphatically) Ma'am, STATE COPS DON'T HAVE BALLS!
Ma'am: (bursts into hysterics and can't speak)
SPM: (walks back to his car, gets in, and drives away!)
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Disclaimer: These are true, absolutely true ... to the best of my
knowledge, ... but don't hold me to it!
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