THE DIETER'S GUIDE TO WEIGHT LOSS DURING SEX

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ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNE

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REMOVING CLOTHES: ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE:
With partner's consent..........12 Shoes flew off...................35
Without partner's consent......187 Expression didn't change.........1/2
Orchestra swelled.................6
UNHOOKING BRA: Birds sang
Using two calm hands.............7 Large birds......................7
Using one trembling hand........36 Small birds......................3
Earth moved......................30

Lifting partner.................15 PULLING OUT:
Dragging partner along floor....16 After orgasm......................1/2
Using skateboard.................3 A few moments before orgasm......500

ACHIEVING ERECTIONS: PENIS ENVY:
For normal healthy man...........2.5 For woman..........................3
Losing erection.................14 For men...........................72
Searching for it...............115
GUILT:
PUTTING ON CONDOM: Despite no formal training,orgasm
With erection....................1.5 comes easily,naturally............53
Without erection...............300 You're enjoying sex,despite the
fact that other people are
INSERTING DIAPHRAGM: starving...........................2
If the woman who does it is Sex on your lunch hour.............3
Experienced.....................6 Putting it on expense account....20
Inexperienced..................73
If a man does it...............680 AGGRAVATION:
Add (5) calories for retreiving it Partner keeps showing plants.......5
from accross the room. Partner insists on cuddling the dog
during foreplay...................14

POSITIONS ACCORDING TO NATIONALITY: Partner just visited bathroom for
Italian- Man on top,woman in 7th time..........................10
kitchen.........................26 Partner is taking phone calls......7
Russian- Woman on bottom, Partner is making phone calls.....40
Man getting permission..........55
American- Both on top...........60 GETTING CAUGHT:
By partner's spouse...............60
POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF INTERCOURSE: By your spouse...................100
Bouncing.........................7 Trying to explain.................55
Sliding around...................9 Trying to remain calm............100
Serious skidding................12 Leaping out of bed................75
Whiplash........................27 Getting dressed in one motion....500
Thanking partner quickly...........2
ORGASM:
Real............................27
Faked..........................160

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