~From: nebusj@theorem.math.rpi.edu (Joseph Francis Nebus)
~Newsgroups: alt.fan.cecil-adams
~Subject: Window Cleaning

Ah, with mere seconds until the Official Debut of Windows '95 (motto:
"We've taken an operating system that already hates the user, and made it
too slow and bulky to use on your system") I began to think of my
experiences with earlier versions of this product.

Although I am far from computer illiterate, I note that most every attempt
by me to get Windows to do something, such as leave icons WHERE I WANT
THEM, or simple creation or deletion of directories, leaves me screaming
with rage at the computer and either cutting out to DOS or taking the disk
(if it's a 3.5 disk I was working on) to my Macintosh and fixing things
there. My attempts to keep more than one program open at a single time
always leave me promising not to use Windows ever, ever again.

While I very rarely attempt to install software, people I know who do
always seem to end up with horror stories like, "We were putting F117A
Stealth Fighter into the games directory, but Windows told us we were going
to have to modify the CONFIG.SYS file by recognifuring the device mods and
adding a pinch of paprika, inserting into oven and removing when touching a
finger to it causes a mild blister, but then we ended up having to copy our
backup WIN.INI files in because it began having failures with the system
demanding 'Who Wants To Know?' every time we tried to find the new files
and then when we got the color maps down correctly gremlins came out of the
hard drive and took away little Timmy, which is OK because we were tired of
having to go to McDonald's every week to get more 'Power Rangers' giveaway
junk, but we're living in fear now because we wantto put in the SimCity
2000 Urban Renewal Kit and we're afraid Windows may steal the cat."

My question, then, at long last, is: How the krunk did this thing ever sell
to anyone who was not an actual member of Bill Gates' immediate family? Are
we talking serious deal with the devil or what?
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