Baywatch

Baywatch

From: "Gorm Bagger Andersen, 4667." (gorm.bagger.andersen@risoe.dk)

WHAT PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD LEARN ABOUT AMERICANS BY WATCHING BAYWATCH

1. American men and women spend 15 percent of their days running in slow
motion along the beach.

2. Americans almost drown an average of two times each hour.

3. Despite the habit of breathing water, CPR always works and no one
actually dies, except from cancer.

4. People in the U.S. look thoughtfully at the ocean for an average of 15
seconds after being told anything of any importance.

5. Americans never worry about getting enough to eat, but fat people are
unreliable and sometimes evil.

6. Most American women have abnormally large breasts that are worshipped
via close-ups for an average of two minutes and thirteen seconds per hour.

7. When swimming in California, you are more likely to be attacked by jewel
thieves or taken hostage by terrorists than you are to drown.

8. Most activity that takes place off the beach occurs in montages and
lasts no longer than two minutes.

9. Although Americans, especially lifeguards, complain that they are poor,
they all have expensive sports cars and luxurious homes.

10. Motorboats, unlike cars, will not talk back to David Hasselhoff.
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Baywatch

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