From: othello@xmission.com (Dr. Barrett Stridiron)
Newsgroups: alt.best.of.internet
Subject: ABOI:Sandwiches for sale
Date: Fri, 08 Sep 1995 11:42:24 -0600

Spotted this bit in the misc.forsale.noncomputer hierarchy...

+++

ryanv@callisto.unm.edu (Ryan J Vines) wrote:

>I have three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I need to sell.
>Each has equal amounts of creamy JIF peanut butter and Grape jelly.
>All are on Roman Meal bread, and in glad sandwich baggies. These
>three sandwiches have NOT been properly refrigerated. Three days old.
>Am asking $1 each + shipping. Sorry, no COD, prepayment only.
>Also, I will trade for a timex sinclair, or a Commodore 64.

> -Ryan

+++

(a reply!)

bain@okstate.edu (Brian Bain) wrote:

> Now before I buy I must know several things. Was the jelly mixed with
> the peanut butter prior to putting it on the one piece of bread? If
> so, was it places with a methodical circular motion or just dabbed on
> there in a random senseless act of hurriedness. I if the jelly was
> first placed on one piece of bread and the jelly on the other with
> care I may go $.72 per sandwich. Is there a quantity discount, as I
> am a college student and may need more of these in larger quantities
> as the semester goes on. If these are not smashed I am willing to pay
> an extra $0.01 per sandwich to have them smashed(saves space, saves
> the earth and all that). The jelly must not be that less fat or fat
> free crap, I want the really good stuff. What brand of Grape jelly?
> The brand of jelly could make my whole decision. I would prefer
> preserves over jelly. Personally I like Jalapenos jelly for
> breakfast. If I buy large quantities could I specify what flavors of
> jelly, peanut butter, and bread, I want? Now about the baggies, are
> these baggies the zip-lock kind( a must). I also require that they be
> the kind that change colors(hopefully more than one color) when
> zipped. I have not seen the new ones that are suppose to play music
> while zipping, if you got those I would pay $0.04 extra. Do you take
> large sums of cash through the US Postal system?

+++

(a counter-reply!)

ryanv@callisto.unm.edu (Ryan J Vines) wrote:

> : Was the jelly mixed with the peanut butter prior to putting it on the
> : one piece of bread?
>
> No, peanut buter on one slice, jelly on the other
>
> : If so, was it places with a methodical circular motion or just dabbed
on
> : there in a random senseless act of hurriedness.
>
> Lots of TLC for my PB&J's
>
> : Is there a quantity discount, as I am a college student and may need
> : more of these in larger quantities as the semester goes on.
>
> No, each of these is hand crafted, these are VERY special sanwiches
>
> :If these are not smashed I am willing to pay an extra $0.01 per sandwich

> :to have them smashed(saves space, saves the earth and all that).
>
> I will smash at no extra charge (the post office will do it for me)
>
> :The jelly must not be that less fat or fat free crap, I want the really
> :good stuff.
>
> Ohhhhhh no. Absolutely not low fat, they have SMUCKERS brand grape jelly
>
> :What brand of Grape jelly?
>
> SMUCKERS
>
> : If I buy large quantities could I specify what flavors of jelly, peanut

> :butter, and bread, I want?
>
> I only have grape and apricot. I think I also have a REALLY old jar of
> strawberry. Flavors of peanut butter? I have white, and wheat bread.
>
> : Now about the baggies, are these baggies the zip-lock kind( a must). I
> :also require that they be the kind that change colors(hopefully more
than
> :one color) when zipped.
>
> Ziplock indeed! I even drew a face on my finger before zipping (like on
TV)
>
> : Do you take large sums of cash through the US Postal system?
>
> Oh Yes indeed I do.
>
> A note: Do not fall for any of those OTHER PB&J shops, they are fakes,
> and use FURRS brand jelly, and generic white bread.
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