Socialism -- If you have 2 cows, you give one to your neighbor.

Communism -- If you have 2 cows, you give them to the government; and the
government gives you some milk.

Fascism -- If you have 2 cows, you keep the cows but give the milk to the
government, who then sells you the milk at a high price.

Nazism -- If you have 2 cows, the government shoots you and keeps the cows.

New Dealism -- (FDR Version) If you have 2 cows, you shoot one, milk the
other one; then pour the milk down the drain.

Capitalism -- (Reaganomics) If you have 2 cows, you sell one and buy a
bull; you then sell all the excess milk to the government who in turn ships
it to fascist and communist governments.

Anarchism -- If you have 2 cows, your neighbor on your left takes one cow,
and the one on the right takes the other; while your backyard neighbor
takes the milk, the bucket and the stool.

Utopianism -- If you have 2 cows, Mother Nature zaps the cows, turning
their udders into eternal milk-shake dispensers.

Radical Feminism -- If you have 2 cows, you declare an amazonian state free
of bull oppression and sit around waiting for the cows to hump each other.
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More Cows, from julie@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu:

Feudalism -- You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism -- You have two cows. The government takes them and puts
them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the
cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

Bureaucratic Socialism -- You have two cows. The government takes them and
puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by
ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government
took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and
eggs the regulations say you should need.

Fascism -- You have two cows. The government takes both, h ires you to take
care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism -- You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of
them, and you all share the milk.

Russian Communism -- You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but
the government takes all the milk.

Cambodian Communism -- You have two cows. The government takes both and
shoots you.

Dictatorship -- You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts
you.

Pure Democracy -- You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the
milk.

Representative Democracy -- You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone
to tell you who gets the milk.

Bureaucracy -- You have two cows. At first the government regulates what
you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk
them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk
down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the
missing cows.

Pure Anarchy -- You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price
or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

Libertarian: Anarcho-capitalism -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy
a bull.

Surrealism -- You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.
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