Application for Permission to Live in New Hampshire


NAME: _____________________________________________________________________


ETHNIC INFORMATION: (voluntary)
White ( )

TYPE OF CARS OWNED:
Pickup Truck ( )
You don't own any Foreign cars, do you? NO ( )

CAR EQUIPMENT:
Gun Rack ( ) Stash ( ) CB ( ) Beer Holder( )
Playboy air freshener ( )

BUMPER STICKERS:
"Ex-wife in trunk" ( )
"If Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Guns" ( )
"Bush/Quayle" ( )
"Shit Happens" ( )
"If you don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk" ( )

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual ( )

FAVORITE CAUSE: NRA ( ) Prolife ( )

Total given to these causes in the last 12 months: ________________

FAVORITE DRUGS:
Grass ( )

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SHOULD BE BANNED?: (check all that apply)
Democrats ( ) Welfare ( ) N.O.W. ( )


FAVORITE BEER:
Miller ( ) Michelob ( ) Bud ( )



FAVORITE POLITICIAN:
Don't Care ( )

CLUB MEMBERSHIPS:
NRA ( )


How Automatic Weapons do you own?

5 ( ) 10 ( ) More than that ( )

FAVORITE TV SHOW: Benny Hill ( )

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Application for Permission to Live in Massachusetts


NAME: _____________________________________________________________________
(extra space left due to new social awareness)

ETHNIC INFORMATION: (voluntary)
Eskimo ( ) American Indian ( ) Hispanic ( ) Asian ( )
African-American ( ) American-African ( ) Black-American ( )
Other Group With A Long History Of Oppression By White Males ( )
(specify, so we can help you form a political action group)

___________________________________________________

TYPE OF CARS OWNED (pick two):
SAAB ( ) Volvo ( ) BMW ( ) Mercedes ( ) Honda ( )

You don't own any *American* cars, do you? NO ( )

CAR EQUIPMENT:
Blaupunkt ( ) Passport ( ) Escort ( ) Vuarnet Sunglasses ( )
Stash ( ) CD ( ) Cellular Phone ( ) Ski Rack ( )
Bicycle Rack ( ) Wine Rack ( )

BUMPER STICKERS:
"You can't hug a child with nuclear arms" ( ) "Greenpeace" ( )
"Dukakis/Bentsen" ( ) "Save the Whales" ( ) "Farms not Arms" ( )

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Gay ( ) Lesbian ( ) Other ( )
(note: failure to give the proper answer to the above means you can't
live in certain towns on the Cape, or get elected to Congress)

FAVORITE CAUSE: Whales ( ) Baby Seals ( ) Snail Darter ( )
Total given to these causes in the last 12 months: ________________

FAVORITE DRUGS:
Crack ( ) Coke ( ) Grass ( ) Kitty's Diet Plan ( )

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SHOULD BE BANNED?: (check all that apply)
The Bomb ( ) Handguns ( ) All guns ( ) Nuclear Power ( )
Cigarettes ( ) The NRA ( ) Republicans ( )

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SHOULD BE LEGALIZED?: (check all that apply)
Crack ( ) Coke ( ) Grass ( ) Needles ( )
Flag Burning ( )

FAVORITE BEER:
Samuel Adams ( ) Beck's ( ) Corona(w/lime) ( )
Latest trendy brand ( )

FAVORITE POLITICIAN:
Ted Kennedy ( ) John Kennedy ( ) Bobby Kennedy ( ) Joe Kennedy ( )

CLUB MEMBERSHIPS:
ACLU ( ) Greenpeace ( ) SDS ( ) N.O.W. ( ) A.F.S.C.M.E ( )
Billy Bulger Breakfast Club ( ) Provincetown Boys Club ( )
Bull-dykes Kennel Club ( )

Even though we can't ever get any more power from Hydro-Quebec, don't you
think that Seabrook should remain closed forever? YES ( )

Don't you think that the people in the Midwest should stop dropping acid
rain on our vacation homes in Vermont, even if it means that they all lose
their jobs? YES ( )

How many watts (per channel, RMS) is your principal home stereo?
100W ( ) 200W ( ) More than that ( )

How many air conditioners do you have to help you through our long New
England summers?: 2 ( ) 3 ( ) 4 ( ) Central Air ( )
(note: Fewer than two A/C units may qualify you for state
subsidies if you are a non-white unemployed Democrat)

FAVORITE TV SHOW: Thirtysomething ( )

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