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THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

DEPARTMENT OF THE TREASURY

Internal Revenue Service

TO: All Male Taxpayers

FROM: The Internal Revenue Service

SUBJECT: INCREASED TAX PAYMENTS

The only thing the IRS has not yet taxed is your pecker. This is due to the
fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time
it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is
employed, but it operates in a hole.

Accordingly, starting January 1, 1990, your pecker will be taxed on its
size, using the "Pecker-Checker Scale" below. Determine your category and
enter the additional tax under "Other Taxes," page 2, part V, line 69, of
your standard income tax return (form 1040).

Pecker-Checker Scale

10-12 inches, Luxury Tax............$100.00

8-10 inches, Pole Tax...............$50.00

6-8 inches, Privilege..............$25.00

4-6 inches, Nuisance Tax...........$10.00

Note: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. Do not ask for an
extension. Males with peckers in excess of 12 inches should file under
"Capital Gains."

Sincerely,

Reuben J. Cutchapeckeroff
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