Macdevil

Macdevil

From: Long Suffering TechnoDweeb

Jobs, Satan announce deal

"The era of competition between good and evil is over," Steve Jobs told a
keynote audience at MacWorld Expo today. "We have to let go of the notion
that for good to triumph, evil must perish."

In a presentation that had been anxiously awaited by the Mac community,
Jobs announced a historic deal between Apple Computer and Beelzebub, Lord
of Darkness and Supreme Ruler of the Empire of Evil.

During his short speech to a stunned crowd, Jobs said that Satan will be
purchasing $150M worth of Apple staff's souls, at the current market price.
"I have Lucifer's word that he will not use his control over these souls to
influence the direction we take in any way." Furthermore, said Jobs, the
Devil will not be able to cash in any of the immortal souls for three whole
years.

The Antichrist then addressed the room via a live link from the Pits of
Hell, and said that the Empire of Evil is committed to developing major
pestilences for the Mac platform -- including Office 98 -- for at least the
next five years. A collaboration on destroying the Sun is also part of the
deal with the Lord of Darkness.

Jobs said that Mac users should be grateful for the happiness that an
honest, widely-respected and much-loved organization like The Eternal Pit
of Torment will bring to the Mac community.

In the wake of the announcement, Apple's stock leapt 30 pieces of silver
over the previous day's high.

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